CINCINNATI (TDB) -- Not so long ago, the Cincinnati Enquirer gave full-page treatment to a how-to story . It told Ohioans, who live in a state frequently blanketed by white stuff that covers the ground during winter, how to build a snowman. Just in case they didn't know.
Today's edition delivered another dose of absolutely senseless numskull news -- there are a lot of potholes at this time of year.
In fact, this was the top, right-hand story on page 1-A, the spot broadsheet newspapers traditionally award to the most important development of any day. The headline: "Car-eating potholes are back. Hundreds reported since the start of year."
Holy Smoke!!!! Cars were being eaten right here in River City.!!!!
But there were no cars eaten. Nobody had a Ford, Chevy or Dodge devoured. There were just crews out on the highways and streets patching things up, a routine seasonal activity in a chunk of the nation located in the temperate zone. Public service crews have been patching potholes since before there were automobiles. Public money is placed in government budgets constantly for street repairs.
But the Enquirer gushed: "Drivers report potholes everywhere." And there was word of a "grand canyon of potholes" somewhere. What a discovery that would have been for geologists.
Reality check to Enquirer: Potholes are a fact of life in Ohio after a thaw. This is 1-A news? Duh.
Last year, the newspaper told readers, there were 30,000 repaired in Cincinnati alone. This year, because of colder weather, the number could reach the 2005 level, which was much higher.
Grand canyons and car eaters. I call BS.