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Tuesday, May 06, 2008

Ohio Attorney General's Office Scandal: What Should We Call Marc Dann's Mess?

CINCINNATI (TDB) -- The Daily Bellwether is partial to naming the scandal "Boinkgate." The word is somewhat alliterative of "Coingate." That corrupt investment in rare coins by imprisoned Republican operative Tom Noe brought Ohio Attorney General Marc Dann to prominence in the first place. Some have suggested "Pajamagate." But "Boinkgate" is more suggestive, and seems to have more impact in conjuring up Democrat Dann's libidinous activities with a significantly younger female who was on the AG's payroll. In this case, Ohio's top legal official has admitted boinking rather than banking, or investing, and the pajama angle has been replaced by "sweats." That creates the possibility of "pant, pant" -- implying overactive hormones, etc. But it just doesn't fit. So far, Dann's shenanigans and shabby management of his state office has not produced a signature moniker -- a shorthand description -- for the scandal that is causing such an uproar at the heart of state government. Monkey Business doesn't get it -- we have no pictures of Dann on a yacht of that name with an attractive blue jeans model curled up on his lap. So Monkey Business will always belong to former U.S. Sen. Gary Hart's libidinous escapades. Watergate is Richard Nixon's signature ethical lapse, and "gate" has become the modern suffix to hang on words to impart a scandalous character. Teapot Dome has Ohio roots, but the corruption of Warren G. Harding's 1920s presidential administration seems lost in the mists of this 21st Century. And "Dann-dome" just doesn't have the right ring, the right smell of nefariousness and naughty conduct that a sordid event in high political office demands. "Client-9" is so associated with Elliott Spitzer's shame that it probably has been copyrighted. There doesn't seem to be any way to affix a "client" tag to Dann.


  1. You mean the AG's "She-Dannigans"?

  2. Sexpot Dome?

    AGate... jewel of denial?

    Ringling Brothers Bang 'em (and daily) Circus?

  3. Alliteration plays on the repetition of leading consonants. So you would need something like "Coitusgate" to be alliterative with Coingate.

    Boinkgate and Coingate have rhyming vowel sounds. The correct term for that is assonance, which calls to mind the asinine behavior that spawned this scandal.

    I know I'm picking nits, but you're so conscientious about getting stories perfect that I had to point it out. Plus it's fun to say "assonance".

  4. Hi Mark --

    Definitely assonance, as you have so politely noted, and what a fun word to use. And it was a great catch to point out my misuse of alliteration. Sometimes grammar is elusive. I wish I had remembered assonance.

  5. Dannimal House

  6. Call the scandal what you must, but refer to him as Marc "Steely" Dann.

  7. .

    This is a non story period !

    We have the U.S. plotting 'torture' in the White house !

    We have McShame wanting a 100 year war !

    Where is the scandal between two consenting adults ?

    Our society has a 50% divorce rate !

    The only difference is that if Dann where a wRong wingnut whacko he would have been foot-tapping in a public restroom or texting a teenage boy or soliciting for a 5 year old over the Internet !

    PATHETIC 'HypocRites' !