Will Montauk Monster Wind Up In Texas Creationist Museum? Lake Erie Monster Spent Time With Anti-Darwinists

CLEVELAND (TDB) -- At the moment, the Montauk Monster is the hottest story on the web. Where might all end? Perhaps in a Texas creationist museum? That's where Glen J. Kuban tracked down a reputed baby monster whose remains reportedly washed up on Lake Erie's shoreline in the early 1990s. Kuban did a lot of research about the so-called "Erie Baby," which was displayed for a time in the Christian Evidence Museum as "pleiosaur-like" creature that lived in modern times. Its existence was seen as evidence contrary to Charles Darwin's theory of evolution. At least, that's how the monster tale goes.

Kuban's complete research report about the Lake Erie monster is here. It is fascinating reading, and nearly hilarious. He updated it in 1997. He thinks the Lake Erie monster that so interested the creationists was actually a burbot, a large Great Lakes fish that is related to the cod that come from the Atlantic. He said the burbot is sometimes called a "lawyerfish." Not exactly sure why that is.

On The Trail Of the Montauk Monster, Word Comes Of Montana's Monstrous Rattlesnake

CINCINNATI (TDB) -- There is a growing sense the Montauk Monster that floated onto a sandy Atlantic beach last month is really the remains of a dead raccoon. Gothamist has the latest on the Long Island sensation, including more yucky pictures. Meanwhile, the Daily Bellwether just got a tip about a giant serpent found in Ohio. But the same story had already surfaced a day earlier in Montana. And just in time. Now there won't be any monotony on the front involving unnatural, abnormal, brutish and hideous creatures. Since the story broke out west first, we'll call it the Montana Monster -- a rattler that is nearly 10 feet long, twice normal. After all, who wants to imagine such venomous mankillers slithering around in Ohio.

Michael Bobcock, outdoor editor at the Great Falls Tribune, reports that a photo of the snake is circulating on the Internet (see above). He's on the case but hasn't been able to track down where it originated:

"Scary fellow, wouldn't you think? That would be like stepping on a log that wanted to kill you and swallow you whole. That thing could take a large hog, big dog or even the neighborhood wangsta -- a kid who wants to be a gangsta but only pretends."

Bobcock is suspicious about the size of the snake in the picture. It might be photoshopped. So far, he can't prove it is genuine.

A Monster On The Beach In Montauk? This Hideous Creature Makes Lake Erie's Mystery Beast Seem Downright Benign

CINCINNATI (TDB) -- There are rumors of catfish the size of cars lurking in the Ohio River. And folks on Ohio's North Coast
have long been on the lookout for Bessie, the Lake Erie monster, who also may have a Cretaceous-appearing colleague in Lake Superior. But the first big monster tale of the summer -- just in time for the dog days of August -- comes from Montauk, where the unidentified creature pictured above supposedly washed ashore on a Long Island beach. Gawker broke the story and published the photo. Nobody knows whether it's a hoax, mad science from a nearby government laboratory, or some kind of publicity stunt. Theories abound, though not all are accompanied by shark music in the background. One possibility: A turtle that lost its shell. Gawker first reported:

"A tipster says that there is 'a government animal testing facility very close by in Long Island,' but unless the government is trying to design horrible Montauk monsters that will eat IEDs and fart fire at bad Iraqis, we're not sure why they would create such an unthinkable beast. Our guess is that it's viral marketing for something."

Then came suggestions that it was tied to a promotion for the Cartoon Network, though the sight of such a carcass should scare the beejeesus out of kids. This thing looks like something that swam away from Jurassic Park, and not due to any fear of the local T-Rex clan.

There's now a report in Plum from the Hampton's that several witnesses actually saw the thing dead on the beach. Plum added that the four government scientists it spoke with, none identified, said it was like nothing they have seen before. The photographer whose picture is on the Internet is going to be on TV Friday.

Associated Content says the kinds of intellects who are susceptible to conspiracy theories seem to be leaning towards the proposition that the monster came from a federal lab:

"Speculation about the identity of the Montauk Monster is rampant. Many skeptical Americans believe that the Montauk Monster is a publicity stunt. The most conspiracy-minded are sure the Montauk monster is detritus from a sinister government operation. The United States Department of Agriculture (USDA)-operated Plum Island animal testing facility is nearby, fueling the belief that the USDA is responsible; some would see the Montauk Monster as a hideous USDA experiment gone wrong while others might consider it a not -so-unexpected byproduct of animal experimentation. The simplest explanation might be that the Montauk Monster is a natural mutation of some sort of ordinary Earth animal, but which one?"

A mutation? A hairless beaver, or a beaked otter? If these things start floating ashore in Toledo or Cleveland, everybody would suspect the cause of the mutation. The water that flows into Lake Erie from Detroit.

[UPDATE: 8:38 pm -- This comment thread on Snopes.com has a lot of chatter contending the Montauk Monster is a drowned raccoon that lost its fur and decomposed a bit. Does exposure to Atlantic seawater cause mange? That's one question posed. Another possible species: A seal.]