Right Wing Ex-Enquirer Columnist Peter Bronson: Has New Gig At Cincy Magazine

CINCINNATI (TDB) -- Bronson somehow managed to write a nice thing about a Democrat. Still, the rabid rightwinger mostly drones on and on from his one-note political hymnal -- he has claimed the White House keeps a list of "dangerous conservatives." He admits the newspaper threw him overboard last July. Bronson writes he was a casualty of the lousy economy, but neglects to mention the national flap over a faked photo of Sen. Al Franken that preceded his departure by a few days. In his new gig, Bronson produces a bimonthly column for the city magazine that's aimed at the business and professional class, and there is buzz that he soon may be moving into an editor's spot. Bronson's piece in the current issue is available online and he's offered some (surprise!) praise for Cincinnati's Democratic Mayor Mark Mallory, whose anti-crime efforts he sees as paying dividends:

"Still, I am optimistic.After a peaceful time-out from the daily menu of fast-food headlines, I have a much healthier view of the city. Downtown is more dynamic than it’s been in years. It even shows vital signs of a nightlife. Crime is in check because Mayor Mark Mallory came up with the radical plan to let the police do their job. The bulimic growth of local government has been put on a revenue-starvation diet. And, compared to many cities, we have clean government. For all the partisan thumb wrestling, Cincinnati is just too darned well mannered for corruption. So I’d say Cincinnati is a stock with lots of upside growth potential for one big reason: Its human resources."

Weed 'Em And Weep: Marijuana Seasons Hamilton County's Ballots

CINCINNATI (TDB) -- The Board of Elections offices are in the same building as the Cincinnati police department's evidence room. Sometimes the odor of confiscated marijuana drifts through the elevator shafts and permeates the atmosphere. Talk about your high and mighty.

Elections Director John Williams told the Cincinnati Enquirer's Peter Bronson that folks visiting his office are frequently surprised when they are greeted by the aroma of pot hanging in the air:

"It's pungent. It makes people do some double takes."

No word that anyone has been rolling and lighting the paper ballots, though. Bronson, a rightwing conservative who seldom veers from the GOP line, writes less about the pot than Ohio Secretary of State Jennifer Brunner. He denounces the Democrat for pressing counties to switch to paper ballots, and joins the crowd who contend she is undercutting confidence in elections. Others might suspect Bronson inhaled too deeply in the pot-flavored atmosphere.

Cincinnati Enquirer's Rightwing Columnist: Flunks History And Geography

CINCINNATI (TDB) -- There are those who suspect that Cincinnati Enquirer columnist Peter Bronson has the intellect of a box of rocks. And there are those who would say hush, it is impolite to insult rocks. In a section titled Yankee Go Home, today's Bronson column is full of historical and biographical omissions, half-truths and errors.

Bronson says former U.S. Sen. Bob Dole, the 1996 Republican presidential candidate, was unelectable because he came from a northern state, Iowa. Wrong. Bob Dole is from Kansas. He was born in Russell, Kan., on July 22, 1923 and served that state in the Capitol for more than a generation. Bronson says President Reagan was a southerner like Lyndon Johnson, D-Tex., and Richard Nixon, R-Cal. Nixon truly was a California native, but Reagan was not. To imply otherwise is a half-truth. Reagan was born in Tampico, Ill., and lived in that state until he turned 21. As an adult -- and after working as a broadcaster in Iowa -- Reagan migrated to the movie colony around Hollywood. He was not a California native.

Bronson says the current President Bush is "all Texan." But that statement is all bull. Bush was born in New Haven, Conn in 1946, as his official White House biography shows. Bronson says New York Sen. Hillary Clinton can pretend she comes from Arkansas -- where she lived with Bill Clinton in his home state. Bronson omits that Hillary is an Illinois native who was born in Chicago and grew up in its suburbs.

Bronson's theory is that southerners win presidential elections and northerners lose. He may be right up to a point. But neither Kansas nor California are considered southern states. They are Great Plains and Pacific Coast, or midwestern and southwestern. And Reagan was from the midwestern prairie, a transplant into California. Bronson says Arizona Sen. John McCain falls into his southern theory. McCain now lives in Phoenix, but was born in the Panama Canal Zone. His father was a naval officer and he grew up on military bases all over the place. McCain has the gray hair, but he doesn't speak with a drawl like that famous southerner with a military title, Col. Harlan Sanders.

Ohio Chain Newspaper Columnist Peter Bronson Writes: Chain Newspapers Suck

CINCINNATI (TDB) -- Peter Bronson is an ultra-conservative columnist at the Cincinnati Enquirer, an Ohio newspaper owned by the nation's biggest newspaper chain, Gannett Co. Inc. On Sunday, he lamented how big newspaper chains -- like Gannett, which was not mentioned by name -- are sucking life out of local papers and harming their sales by peddling junkfood news.

"Wherever the population density can support more than one freeway exit, the chains move in and sterilize any hint of local flavor. So a chain newspaper in Metropolis often looks exactly like the same franchise in Gotham City. They're like McDonald's -- same interior decorating, same stories and opinions, as uniformly alike as slices of Wonder Bread or fast food fries. Being dropped in the middle of a chain newspaper can be like being taken to a Waffle House blindfolded, then trying to figure out if you're in Iowa or Idaho. There are no surprises -- no local flavor as tangy as pickled eggs, or buffalo jerky. Just the same old predictable menu . . ."

The entire column on junkfood news somehow just doesn't get around to noting that the Enquirer is owned by Gannett. Probably veiled because it was too hard for the powers to swallow. Bronson insinuates the chains are overwhelmingly liberal, but then seems to back off and contends the newspaper chains are really intent on serving up a crappy diet to their customers. "And I wonder if a steady diet of junkfood news causes high blood pressure, indigestion and poor circulation."

Ohio Rightwing Newspaper Columnist: 70% Of All Music Is Sexy, Causes Pregnancy

CINCINNATI (TDB) -- Apparently, there could be words and rhythms someplace in the "Star Spangled Banner" that can get the juices flowing and hormones humming. So you better watch out this 4th of July. And be sure to turn down the TV or radio when a sporting event is broadcast. Our national anthem might be an aphrodisiac.

This startling tidbit of information comes from the morning metropolitan daily in Cincinnati, where far-right columnist Peter Bronson informed his readers this month that abstinence is good for teenagers and music makes them do the horizontal rumba. He quoted an abstinence advocate who wants to keep tax-funded abstinence programs in the public schools.

"Seventy percent of music has overtly sexual overtones, and much of that is overtly derogatory to females," the advocate told the Cincinnati Enquirer's Bronson.

No examples were offered of how that 70% figure was determined. Is it possible the abstinence movement listened to every musical composition in every human culture since the world began? Is it possible that 70% of all Aztec music had overtly sexual overtones? And what about the stuff in the Vatican -- is Ave Maria a siren song to fire up the mating instinct?

Bronson's musical musings never addressed the where or how the abstinence movement came up with its data. In other words, nothing backed up the claim.

The figure Bronson cited was delivered by Gary Rose, a physician who heads the Medical Institute. Advocates of abstinence programs have been critical of Ohio Gov. Ted Strickland for turning down federal aid because there is little proof the programs actually work. Now they seem to be ginning up a statistic that is ridiculous. Sure there is sexy music. But plenty is inspirational. And the statement Bronson regurgiated unthinkingly is ridiculously shallow -- how can anybody prove 70% of all music, every note, is overtly sexy?

Rose told Bronson that his mission is to promote health education, not moral (or religious) programming: "This is not an agenda to be moralistic. Our goal is to provide objective and scientific information."

So, there is science behind the claim that 70% of music stirs the loins? Boy, was I ever fooled when I heard the words "swing low, sweet chariot, coming for to carry me home." And, one has to wonder, what was Kate Smith thinking when she belted out God Bless America. Isn't there a verse about something white with foam?

Cincinnati's City Hall Lawyer Tells Staff: Tune In Donald Trump

CINCINNATI (TDB) -- The metro daily in Cincinnati knocked the ball clear out of the park today with Peter Bronson's column about an official's decision forcing the City Hall legal staff to watch Donald Trump's NBC-TV show, "The Apprentice." Bronson is an unabashed right-wing conservative, but he dug and produced a solid report about a daffy government workplace.

City Solicitor Rita McNeil -- who came up with the idea to channel Trump --said she viewed the The Donald's show as an instructional program for the public employees under her supervision. She is in charge of the city's legal staff, an office that includes about 30 lawyers.

What's that line The Donald uses when someone has to leave the show? Somebody with an important position at Cincinnati's City Hall ought to hear it in stereo. Perhaps the mayor and city manager could coax Trump into dropping by where he could deliver the line himself. It might be an instructional moment for a certain public employee. And the TV would be fantastic. Think of the ratings potential. Trump would be taking part in geniune "reality" TV.

Bronson wrote a sidebar to his Cincinnati Enquirer COLUMN that tuned into "The Apprentice" and actually got the city solicitor on record admitting she considered the show a "fabulous management tool."

One might be forgiven for thinking comments like that only appear in The Onion, or MAD Magazine, where they make things up as satire.

The sidebar follows:

"Veteran lawyer Terry Cosgrove says a dozen lawyers left the Law Department in the first 14 months after Rita McNeil took over in 2002.

“For those of us who remained, things got worse,” he wrote to City Manager Milton Dohoney. “In the first year, as members of her senior staff, we were required to watch the television show ‘The Apprentice.’ We would then meet and discuss what we had learned from the program.”

“Yes that is correct,” McNeil replied. “I thought it was a fabulous management tool to show what we can accomplish if we work as a team.”She said she doesn’t know exact turnover numbers for her office, but, “When I came we had a number of employees who were eligible to retire and had been here for 30-plus years. The number is skewed by that.”

But the ‘Apprentice’ discussions worked, she said. “As an educational tool, I thought it went well. I had many good comments.”

Cosgrove said, “It was just bizarre.”

[Ed Note: The Daily Bellwether has been very harsh of late on the Enquirer. It did a very good job today and served the public well. Kudos and commendations. Keep up the good work.]

Cincy Enquirer Columnist: Says Gore's Movie Makes Him Puke

CINCINNATI (TDB) -- The Cincinnati Enquirer's right-wing columnist Peter Bronson writes today that many Hollywood movies are culturally coarse and those that deal with "nauseating" topics such as gays, racism or the environment win Oscars. Then, the column devotes most of its chunk of editorial OP ED page space to a coarse subject -- barfing.

Apparently, if someone named Al Gore wins an Academy Award it is a stomach-churning event. But if a columnist chews over ejecting the contents of one's guts in a family newspaper, well, that's just journalism. Talk about bad taste.

"Anything involving Al Gore or Michael Moore is guaranteed to make you want to 'return' your popcorn," Bronson wrote.

The entire column is HERE. It could have harnessed some brainpower to criticize the performances, the direction, the Academy, the construction of the screenplays, the lighting, the sets, the costume designs. The politics of Hollywood is fair game, too, and is often the subject of intellectually stimulating and thought-provoking commentary. A sharp-witted conservative could easily make a point without invoking puke. Yet today's Enquirer resorted to hurling verbal vomit. Indeed, the attack on Alan Arkin calls for mops and disinfectant. "And this year there's a category for Most Nauseating Oscar Winner. I'll give this one to Alan Arkin, who won Best Supporting Actor for his role as 'an offbeat grandfather' in Little Miss Sunshine."

The conservative columnist didn't like the character, considering him a gross, drug-addled grandpa who loved to watch porn.

But notice this detail: the column attacked Arkin personally as the "most nauseating Oscar Winner."

It seems to have confused the performer with the performance. Journalism like that should surely boost sales of Tums for the Tummy.