CINCINNATI (TDB) -- The Green Party's unsuccessful 2006 gubernatorial candidate in Ohio is out with a James Bond style license-to-kill tale: The CIA could be responsible for the financial problems that are causing Ohio's Antioch University to close its doors. Bob Fitrakis puts on his Ian Fleming hat and spins a conspiracy theory that has American spooks targeting the school in Yellow Springs.
All those junior Goldfingers had to be hit. M and Q and Moneypenny, or whoever their counterparts are in the American intelligence services, must have had some hand in the Yellow Springs bloodletting. So OO7 -- or whoever it is that assassinates colleges -- was put on the case. Probably somebody whose SAT was 1600. Of course, it was double o 16.
Fitrakis doesn't mention this conspiracy involves the same CIA that is so inept it failed to notice there were not any weapons of mass destruction in Iraq, it missed the 9/11 terrorist attacks, and somehow didn't spot the collapse of the Soviet Union in 1989. Still, some may be glad to know the agency is suspected of having the skill to shut down a poorly managed school whose enrollment had dwindled to less than 100 freshmen.