Adult Sex-Toy Retailer Teams Up With Cincinnati Bengals: Football 101 Seminar Sure To Create Buzz For Lady Fans

CINCINNATI (TDB) -- Pure Romance has hooked up with Bengals' Coach Marvin Lewis to "explain the rules and nuances of football" to 400 women next month at Paul Brown Stadium. NFL players will be on hand to help the coach. I wonder if the seminar will get into a formation called the flexbone -- in football it means a play involving three running backs. Or a muff, as in mishandled punt. Will he discuss ballhandling skills? Coach Lewis says he's looking forward to a fun group of pupils. Here's some background about the event:

"The Cincinnati Bengals and the Marvin Lewis Community Fund (MLCF) will once again team up to host Football 101 presented by Pure Romance on Thursday, of the Bengals bye week at Paul Brown Stadium from 4:30 - 9:30 p.m. The event starts with a silent auction, Chinese raffle, dinner, drinks, door prizes and a live auction. Head Coach Marvin Lewis is joined by members of the Bengals’ coaching staff and players to explain the rules and nuances of football to the 400 attendees. Individuals learn the game in a relaxed and entertaining atmosphere. The event included hands-on demonstrations, video presentations, and VIP tours of the locker room, weight room, and playing field. The night ends with coffee, desserts and a the announcement of the Chinese raffle winners.

"I love teaching this game and I do not think I’ve met a more enthusiastic and fun group of pupils than the participants that attend Football 101,” said Coach Lewis. "I look forward to recognizing our Pink Football Award winner every year as it is an inspiration to myself and all the attendees.”

The link between an NFL team and an adult sex toy company brings up all kinds of possibilities, when it comes to common phrases that are tossed around on a football field. Think about being wide open, or a wide receiver. How about ball security? Or ball carrier? You could talk about crackbacks and hard counts. There is man coverage, long snappers, loose balls and live balls. We all know what a monster is. How about pump fakes? Run and shoot? Sacks, slots, snaps and touchbacks?

Cleveland Browns All-Pro Joe Thomas Shows Up In Afghanistan: Lineman Goes From NFL Trenches To The Real Thing

CINCINNATI (TDB) -- Bengals fans might want to stuff their chant that goes "If it's Brown, flush it down." Offensive tackle Joe Thomas of the Browns has popped up in Afghanistan signing autographs and posing for pictures with troops in the combat zone. No Bengals were in sight or on the trip. The photo was taken five days ago by Air Force Staff Sgt. Richard Williams at Bagram Airfield. Thomas visited service members along the flightline, then went to a USO center at the base named for Pat Tilman, the NFL player who quit football to join the military. Tilman was killed by friendly fire in the early days of the war; the Army tried to cover up the mistake.

Thomas, at 6-foot-6 and 312 pounds, has been with the Browns since 2007, when he was a first round draft pick out of the University of Wisconsin. His wife, Annie, is a former Wisconsin basketball playwer. Thomas is from Brookfield, Wisc., and went to Brookfield Central H.S. where he captained the football and basketball teams and made the academic Honor Roll. He's traveling with three other NFL players through the war zone -- San Francisco tight end Vernon Davis, House Texans defensive end Mario Williams, and Cowboys tight end Jason Whitten. Thomas is blogging, though he hasn't disclosed exactly where he's been. The Air Force released the photo from the Bagram flightline. Here's Thomas about a night in the field: "Our group has really been in awe of just about everything. We watched troops fire off mortar rounds so loud they literally shook the ground. We spent one night at a "black out base" -- meaning that the base isn't lit up at night for security reasons. The players bunked up, two to a room, in small wood cabin rooms that had nothing more than one bunk bed with two mattresses. We brought sleeping bags to put on top of the mattresses."

NFL Wants Journos To Wear Ads On Sidelines: Journos Protest

CINCINNATI (TDB) -- A national organization of journalists wants the NFL to scrap a proposed game day rule that would force newspaper, magazine and TV photographers to wear bright-red vests with Canon and Reebok ad logos displayed on the vests. The two companies sponsor pro football, and working journos on the sidelines are concerned they would resemble NASCAR drivers, or Olympic skiers, while covering the Cleveland Browns, Cincinnati Bengals and other franchises across the U.S.

Of course, the photojournalists don't work for the NFL. They work for independent publications like The Plain Dealer and Cincinnati Enquirer, or Sports Illustrated, or local TV. The NFL probably doesn't need them anymore -- it is so rich and successful that it can hire its own photogs and put them on the sidelines, then put their pictures online or find ways to distribute them through print channels that will pop up instantly. The old MSM will be squeezed out, and the dispute demonstrates how far their clout has eroded.

The Society of Professional Journalists is raising cane about the NFL plan and says the NFL should abandon the proposal before the preseason begins next month. Today, it sent a protest letter to the commissioner's office and all 32 teams. The journalist group's president, Christine Tatum of the Denver Post, explains:

"For the sake of the almighty dollar, the NFL is clearly willing to compromise press freedom and independence. The League should be ashamed. Journalists should refused to cover games before allowing themselves to become walking billboards. Defending a free press is a public service infinitely more valuable than play-by-play reporting from the sidelines."

Beg to differ. The news biz is built on advertising. The trucks that TV journos drive to the games are painted with signs touting the networks and stations that own them, logos that say, "Where the news comes first" and such. Is it such a stretch to wear a Canon vest?

Meanwhile, the newspapers are looking for new revenue streams as they decline. They should have sold logos for ads years ago. A real estate company, a motel chain, a car dealer would have paid dearly to have a highly visible logo in a stadium before 60,000 or more Browns, Bengals or Buckeye fans. Think of the logo decorating an Ohio newspaper photogs jacket or shirt, somehow clearly marked as an advertisement.

Or the paper should have put its photog in a jacket or shirt that proclaimed: Read The Dispatch!!!

But they never thought like that. And now that somebody is, they are p'oed. C'mon Society of Professional Journalists, do you think that the Americans who watch and attend football games are such dummies they won't recognize the ads for what they are -- paid product placement pitches that are not endorsements.

Hell, if I was running a newspaper I'd be talking to Budweiser right now about hats, pants and shoes.